


Why the Jumper?

by nancy12e



Category: Jumper, Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack and Angst, Gen, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 23:38:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4499142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nancy12e/pseuds/nancy12e
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our story opens to find Sherlock carefully examining the evidence while John looks on anxiously.<br/>“It's ruined.” Sherlock concluded gravely. “There's nothing we can do for it.”</p><p>Why does everyone hate John's jumpers? Can Sherlock figure it out before the next fanfic is written?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why the Jumper?

**Author's Note:**

> This is not beta'd. All mistakes are my own.

Our story opens to find Sherlock carefully examining the evidence while John looks on anxiously.  
“It's ruined.” Sherlock concluded gravely. “There's nothing we can do for it.”  
“No! Not my favourite jumper!” John moaned in despair.  
“I'm afraid so.” Sherlock replied.  
“Why does this happen in every fanfic?” John groaned. “Why?”  
“I don't actually know.” Sherlock seemed perturbed by this fact. “It's not like you are normally obsessed with clothes. Still, perhaps if you stopped choosing one jumper as your favourite, people would feel less compelled to ruin it.”  
“You should talk.” John snorted. “You and that purple shirt of yours.”  
“Hm. Come to think of it, our fans do seem rather obsessed with what we wear.” Sherlock observed. “I can't see why. Yes I have good taste, and your clothes are quite smart for where we live, but what makes them so special?”  
“For once, I'd just like to get through a story without having to replace at least some of my wardrobe!” John declared.  
“Don't be so dramatic.” Sherlock huffed.  
“Like you can talk.” John frowned. “Your clothes rarely get wrecked.”  
“You forget how often my poor Belstaf coat gets damaged, dirty, or completely destroyed, not to mention how often the buttons on my purple shirt pop off..” Sherlock pouted. “It's a good thing I know a tailor who owes me and can repair or remake my coat as often as needed, and doesn't mind the tedious chore of sewing buttons.  
“That's great for you.” John pointed out. “But what about me? I'm expected to just deal with having my clothes wrecked, and getting new ones before the next story. The clerks don't even ask anymore. They just point to the rack of jumpers, all in my size!”  
“Maybe if you stopped buying the oatmeal coloured one?” Sherlock suggested. “It does seem to be a favourite of writers to destroy.”  
“I have to buy the oatmeal one.” John sighed. “Every fanfic seems to feature it. At least this way I know which one is most likely to be picked.”  
“That may be, but it's possible if you stopped buying them, I wouldn't be obligated to dislike them, and somehow wreck them.” Sherlock suggested. “You could always try it, just for one story.”  
“All right.” John agreed. “I'll buy a green one instead. Just this once, though. If it gets wrecked, I'm going back to oatmeal.”  
“Fair enough.” Sherlock smiled. Then he noticed something. “John, don't tell me you picked another favourite jumper.”  
“Of course not.” John declared. “I'm not an idiot. I just really like the look of the green ones this season.”  
“You'd better hide it fast.” Sherlock advised.  
“Why would I hide it?” John wanted to know.  
“It looks like we're about to be cast into another story, and you just as good as declared you had a favourite jumper.” Sherlock observed. “How do you think I'll get to wreck this one?”  
“No!” John yelled. “No! No! No! I refuse! I don't have time to go shopping!”  
“Too late!” Sherlock observed. “Oh look, this time I get to put it on a frozen pig and through a wood chipper! This should be at least marginally interesting.”  
“What? Why would you do that?” John exclaimed in horror.  
“For a case of course.” Sherlock replied. “Why else?”  
“Fine!” John at last conceded defeat and gave in to the inevitable. “But this author had better restock my closet before the story is over.”


End file.
